Love Like History
by SparklesInTheSun
Summary: Set near the end of Book of Secrets. Abigail compares her 'love' for Ben and her love of history, and discovers similarities between Ben and the subject of the past itself.


**A/N:** Abigail's thoughts on the adventure to the City of Gold. Takes place right before Ben interrupts her musings in the last scene. UPDATE: Originally published 8-11-09, updated 3-8-12.

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><p>She was thinking. She did it often, her brain and her heart agreed for only half of that time, and she liked the resulting conclusions even less. Abigail was a driven sort of person when it came to getting things done, but she found she was rather alone in her thoughts at the end of the day.<p>

And lord, what a day it had been.

The earlier events had been nothing short of awe-inspiring, death-defying, and just plain crazy to any normal person. But they weren't normal people—not really. They had been through events that were impossible to imagine, seriously crazy, risking being ordered to a mental institution. Who would have thought Mount Rushmore was a cover up for one of the greatest man-made works of all time? Isn't that a statement in and of itself.

She was thinking about Ben, obviously. She had almost lost him. He had almost died to save them all. She stilled as memories swamped her, her eyes glazing over as she recalled the day's events…

_Ben, arguing with Mitch, then getting attacked by him…_

_The fear in Ben's eyes when Mitch held her hostage…_

_The look on his face when he told her to save his parents, and get the rest of them out safely…_

She shook herself from the last one. Those would have been his last words. And what was she to say to him? No, don't do this, I'm sorry, I love you…

…and that's when it clicked for her.

_If he had died, what would you have done?_

What _would_ she have done? Did she love him? Did he love her? It sure seemed like it—he could never truly hide his jealousy of Connor. Fake smiles, fake attitude—she did admit to spiting him a little bit—but _love_? Was she _ready_ for that? She didn't even know what it was like, not really. But after all they'd been through—she still trusted him with her life, she knew he would never harm her.

Love was such a big step…but even bigger would be the pain she would suffer if she had lost him. Really, what would she have done? Go back to Connor? Pretend as if Ben never existed, as if she had never had feelings for him? Which she had had at some point, she had to admit. They had bought a house together for god's sake! True, it was very fascinating to be living in a piece of history...but Ben made it so much more better. Constantly keeping her interest, surprising her, testing her knowledge. She would be terribly lonely, she concluded, in the mansion all by herself. With who else would she share her intense passion for the past?

Sure, Connor knew some things here and there, but not like Ben. Never like Ben. There was just…something different about him. Something…fascinating. Always something new to learn, like history. Always time to turn a corner, always things to be discovered. And then she realized: no one could ever quite retain interest like him. He was like history itself: irrefutable, quirky, charming, all that those little bits of historical information could be. There was something…something anchored about him. Something staid. Like history, he would be a rock: always there, but never dull. Always changing, making new memories, creating moments, but also remembering old ones, respecting them, and learning from them.

She knew she could be difficult at times and hard to handle…but honestly, she had thought Ben could handle it. She was like a puzzle, she thought; she was kind of hard to put together, but not altogether impossible. She just needed someone gentle and delicate to take the time to piece her up, figure her out. Sort out all the rough edges from the other parts.

He could be everything she needed. They…worked…well together. Sure they would have their fights, but...who hasn't had a disagreement with a certain piece of canonical information? It keeps a relationship healthy. Besides, learning to overcome said obstacles could be an interesting challenge, if not as difficult as finding lost treasure or the city of gold. It takes a lot of faith and trust to build a successful relationship, and also a lot of guesswork for people who may indeed have been a bit too cavalier in their personal lives. It takes a lot of guts to say, _is this it_? Sure she'd said I love you to a few men and meant it with all her heart at the time, but…

_History could never quite catch her eye quite like Ben could._

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><p>AN: Like it? Love it? Hate it? This is my very first fanfic, and believe me it's a challenge to say that I actually posted this without chickening out. Feel free to point out any grammatical errors and the like, and as always, please review!


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